911 delayed

"while we are waiting for take off I would like to remind you what today is. 8 years ago an event happened that took alot of innocet peoples lives, it changed the way we travel for safer airways. Just remember what's it's all about folks, it's all about our freedom." this is what the flight attendent said after we got settled in with our seatbelt fastened. Nevermind the lack of sleep I received last night, to me I don't think that scaring the hell of of the passangers is a good way to start the 3 1/2 hour plane ride. But then again I could be wrong.

Due to the lack of I-phone capabilities when you're a billion feet in the air, I have resorted to the sky mall mag , with the lovely ambience of the engine( becAuse I forgot to load my iTunes onto my phone !!!) I have decided to share a few of my top items to be purchased.




2. Lawn aerator sandals
26 1 1/2in. Steel spikes to help you have a healthier lawn. Personally when I see this it looks more like something Jason statham would use to beat the shit out of someone while he's gardening. For a mere $12.99 you can simply stab someone in the face with a good high kick preventing them from ever seeing again... 2 thumps up!!!!





3.16th century Italian armor statue with halberd
in case you need to feel a little more safe in your home you can by this strapping 7ft tall statue for only $1050.00 including shipping and handling.. According to the catalog it is " fit for a king", so if you want to feel like royalty you can... Also great for a coat hanger.





4. The zombie of Montclair moors statue
Yep that's right, a lovely life size decorative piece good for " an office, or family room corner" also if you want people can think you're f@cking crazy.






5. Bigfoot the garden yetti sculpture
Wow my friends with this enchanting scultpture you can impress your friends with your love for the outdoors. And if you were thinking of creating a one to match be careful becAuse the name is copy written.




6. The slanket
Which looks damn close to the snuggie. Why people?! Why? It's bad enough here is one version, now we are mass marketing this rediculous product.

So it is safe to say, I will have to take out a small loan for $3,000 to buy my items from skymall. Hopefully I will qualify due to the tough economy. Whatever will I do if I can't have my suit of armor and eye gouging shoes. Maybe I could set up a payroll account for others to donate- I think it's a good cause don't you?

Jaime