On my own

Swallowed up by the silence surrounding my heart. My biggest fears ring loud in my ears making it unbearable for me to even open my eyes to the future. I am crumbling into this void that I fought hard to run from. Another city, another day, and I am still awake staring at myself in the mirror trying to grasp the happiness that I was filled my lungs with. I take a step into the future and my past takes two more, holding onto every inch of fabric tearing holes in the clothes that comfort me and keep me warm. Miles away and still today I think of what we had and how shattered it all became in just an instance. I can pry my eyes open and see what I couldn't see before although the light is harsh on my sight. I had hoped for so much dancing in the rain with you, until the rain filled up the small room of reality and flooded my dreams of having an ever after. Now I have time to think, time to reflect on where I was and where I have come. I will carry you where ever my steps take me, but as time goes you grow lighter, and become much smaller than you were when I first layed eyes on you. The cold wind pushes through me, but my coat shall keep me warm and this hat might tossle my hair but I am ok with that. I am grown admist the change, I shall appreciate each day I have and know that what I thought we had might have been just that, for now I know that this is where I am meant to be, these hills might be large but it is the mountains that I will conquer on my own...on my own.