I feel like most things haven't changed for me since I first started writing this blog. There are a couple of the obvious ones... some that haven't...
I am still working at the Cheesecake Factory... i did leave for a whole month but as you know unfortunate situations led me back.
I am still a cryer, haha, I think that I have come to the conclusion that I am always going to be an emotional person., I can't help it. I care so much about so many things and people that it just affects me directly to my soul. it's a damn shame.. that's what it is, but it is who I am,
MEN...still not existent and toxic. I feel that the last time was enough for me... it really took a huge piece of me. The past 8 months I was waiting to move, waiting for a fresh start, I couldn't even start thinking about dating because I was moving. Then when I came back 4 days later I was still hopeful that i would return. and now, i'm so tired. I am not giving up, but I am slowing down on any progression that I had for myself. It feels like it's right there for me to grab, but I just can't reach it. There isn't a ladder for me to help me climb, I just have myself reaching out for something to make it all better. I see relationships around me blossom and everywhere I turn there is love. And it makes me happy to see my friends falling in love with someone. They have a chance at being happy with someone. so now i in this blah process of being lonely. frowny face. it's just sad really... I don't know what to do with myself. I just try and work to not think about it but you know that never does.
I'm just so lost and i really wish someone would just tell me what to do....maybe I should just install some strings upon myself and have someone just walk me aroudn like a puppet. but there goes that crazy mind of mine.
I am still a hopeless romantic... I just watched a couple of my videos from 2 years ago, and not mych has changed... Ima filled with maybe, oneday, someone will love me, I'll be able to grow with someone and building a life together, blah blah it's still the same and it makes me laugh... you think I would have learned from my past, but apparently you can't beat a horse dead over the head or however that goes. issues. Que sera.. oh life you tricky little fucker. I shall bid you goodnight.-jaime
