I miss the random moments that I used to treasure. Is it possible for me to have them back to put a smile on my face or am I screwed because I am looking for them. That's a funny thing about life, whenever you are looking for something you never seem to find it, but when your not lookng for anything at all the world seems to drop anything into your lap. Is that why I can't find someone to understand me, because I have been hoping all this time? That couldn't be right? Too many times I have witnessed people getting the things they want simply by putting there minds to it. I suppose I could make more of an effort, go out more,talk to strangers, prostitute. What if all this time I have been scared to find something that will work. Maybe I've just been stalling this whole time because I am afraid of failing again in love or a career. Well now that's been said, what the hell do I do now?