Option

Everything inside me tells me to make a choice. I need to speak up for myself and take control of my future. I have not many options at this point and I am afraid of losing one of them. Instead of taking a step towards one and trying it out. What if I take one and work through the process and then it turns out the option is hopeless...nothing that I thought it would be like in the first place. I have been waiting to play this one out for quite sometime. I have placed an enormous amount of pressure on this part of my life, what if everything that I have built up is a huge disappointment. What if I lose the only hope I have towards this option. What if I go through this one and the next until I am all out of them. I will be left with nothing but failed choices. All this of course is a bit extreme , me losing all my options. But the fear of losing one has kept me from losing them all, is has also kept me from trying one out. What the hell. Can't one of my option is just show some light on me and let me know that it is the right choice at the right time. Why do I have to pursue everything, there should be something pursuing me. Blah. Very mature and wo is me I know, but seriously something needs to be done soon, before I freaking go crazy...Muahh ha ha.-jaime