yesterday ...day 39

I just woke up flawed this morning. I can't really place the anger but it is rising from somewhere settling just below the surface waiting to approach fresh air to fuel it. It is possible that it's not anger0 actually I have no idea where it came from. I can't believe i'm saying this, but appropriately I believe I am feeling lony. I think due to all the weddings in the air, it could be the cause. I can't find a date to a friends weeding. Who would want to go to a wedding on a date, usually people get flustered and think about what their wedding would be like, maybe with the person they're with or maybe not. A date, none the less, something I haven't had in a long while- I really don't know the exact rules got calling something a date. Although for some reason I still feel like I have yet to feel a real date. Yesterday while at a wedding shower, I was asked to give advice to the bride and groom. For the first time in a long time I was speechless. I don't possibly know what a 27 year old virgin , who doesn't know if she has been on a date in her life, just be giving advice to people who are in love and are about to get married. Needless to say it hit me hard, and I left the card blank. all this confusing word play of thought just randomly found a way into my head again. I want to cry but I have no reason to . I just feel sad today.